TRANSCRIPT: Shift your attention from the stories associated with the loss to the emotions that are present. Put the judgments and stories in the judgmental parking lot and do an emotional inventory. Not as easy as it seems because some emotions are covert and apparent and other emotions are covert or hidden.
What kinds of losses might there be besides the loss of a loved one through death or divorce or break up? When kids move out of the house or when we move are examples of loss that we might not pay as much attention to, but they are pattern interrupts … a loss of what was. Lots of time we don’t grieve the loss of what was and we can often point to our critic who is saying “we shouldn’t have those emotions.”
Why don’t we grieve very well? I have noticed in my practice and in our society that we don’t do grieving very well at all. One reason is the critic (again) who says it’s taking too much time … okay, guys, stop sniffling, that’s enough, come on … it’s been X amount of time. This makes it worse. So judgment is one reason we don’t grieve very well.