I walked into the physical therapists’ office yesterday and Denise (a woman most likely in her early 70’s) was sitting at her desk – the place she works at her computer and welcomes clients when they come into the practice. She was wonderfully color-coordinated in red, most likely for the holiday season.
“You look really good in red,” I told her. “Look how spiffy you look, even down to your nail polish.”
“Oh, well……” she responded as would any school child. “This is old and my finger nail polish is all chipped.”
I looked at her and smiled. She looked at me. I said to her, “Maybe try again – THANK YOU!” She laughed, half in recognition and half in embarrassment (I think). “THANK YOU!” – She got it, though!
Dr. H did several Emotional Martial Arts™ series on The Art of Giving & Receiving Compliments. Some of us are better at one or the other – giving or receiving. Some can do both. Regardless of where you are in this spectrum, it’s likely we had to work diligently to get there. So before you step into that family gathering coming up, remember what Dr. H taught us – “be clairvoyant”. Remember, “Emotions don’t know the calendar.” Think about it, you know ahead of time who in your family or circle is going to “trigger” you or act in a way that might throw you off balance. Plan ahead. Recognize the emotions that will get triggered in you and validate those emotions so they can start to lose their grip on you. Do you have a “tool” you can use to remind yourself that you are being triggered from a hidden, unhealed emotion from another time zone? Use that tool! Maybe listen to one of Dr. H’s EMA’s or guided-imageries beforehand. How can we use these tools to prepare ourselves? How about our breath? Listen to what our wonderful teacher had to say about how to use your breath to open your capacity to give and receive love.
Coming from a clear and calm place, what GIFT of giving & receiving can you give to others?
About one and half years into our relationship, Howard said to me, “Thank you for being who you said you were.” It meant so much to me at that time. I felt that his words validated that I was living my life in an authentic way. That my beliefs and actions were in alignment. That I was truly seen for who I am. That I was living my life with intention.
Regardless of how much time passes, when loved ones or friends leave our lives, for whatever reason, we are left with the emotions and memories…and the lessons, if we take the energy to learn from them.
When we come and go from loved one’s lives, what do we leave behind? It happens whether you do it deliberately or not. Live your life intentionally.
Tell some one you care about how you feel about them. What “gift” can you leave them with?
Now that Howard is no longer here with me, his words mean even more. They are a gift left behind — something given to me to have forever.
I am grateful for the gift of having an open heart to give and to receive Love.
Happy Holidays & Namaste,